Anxiety (Ohmwrecker x Reader)
by Momlirious
Summary: Social Anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is an anxiety disorder in which a person has an excessive and unreasonable fear of social situations. Anxiety (intense nervousness) and self-consciousness arise from a fear of being closely watched, judged, and criticized by others. Cover by: /lowkeyhatesyou
1. Chapter 1

**Poem is by a good friend of mine; His name is Charlie Hornbuckle. Please do not steal the poem or anything from this story. Thank you**.

* * *

 _I can't quite remember_

 _when he moved in._

 _Maybe he's always been here._

 _Maybe I only noticed him first when I was 12,_

 _and ordering food no long came easy to me_

 _and tapping became a bad habit that_

 _annoyed everyone around me._

 _It was this age I learned, people think I do it for attention._

 _He rally started coming around when I was 13,_

 _I would open my mouth_

 _but he would steal my words from my lips_

 _like they were never even mine._

 _It was this age I learned people do not like mumbles and stutters._

 _He started effecting my grades when I was 14,_

 _and raising my hand was equivalent to_

 _climbing Mt. Everest._

 _It was this age I learned_

 _people think education is more important_

 _than mental health._

 _He started effecting my every day life_

 _when I was 15,_

 _people couldn't be too close_

 _or talk too loud without me flinching,_

 _and I started scratching my hand_

 _until it bled,_

 _and wounds can't heal when you can't stop scratching._

 _It was this age I learned_

 _people do not like damage._

 _He started taking people from me._

 _When I was 16,_

 _people kept leaving and I couldn't even say my name_

 _without stuttering with uncertainty,_

 _and you can't meet new people_

 _if you can't say hi;_

 _and my self worth dropped to single digits._

 _It was this age I learned_

 _no one will stay,_

 _except for him._


	2. Chapter 2

The girl typed out carefully, thinking of ways to describe this feeling she always gets. Even after so many years, she continues to suffer from social anxiety. She couldn't stand up and present anything in front of people, and god forbid if she were to she would turn beat red and start to stutter to wits end. Her disorder was killing her inside and she had no way of fixing it. She was too scared to go to a psychiatrist and was too scared to tell her parents due to the lack of attention they gave her. The girl couldn't talk to anyone about her problems... Until she met him. The boy would always offer help because he went through similar circumstances. He would help her with any problem that she had; regardless of the situation she was in.

Sometimes the boy couldn't talk to her all the time due to the "job" he had. He was almost always busy, but whenever he got the chance he would talk to the girl. Instead, the girl expressed all of her feeling in the poetry and stories she wrote in her notebook and on the internet. She was able to express herself freely to her readers, but they were completely oblivious on how she was actually feeling inside. All they really cared about was if she updated her stories or if she shared her poetry... Until she met him... He was the only one to take his time to ask her about her problems, or if she was alright because he was the only one able to see that she was struggling. He helped her regardless; even when he was too busy he would shoot her a text asking if she was okay.

The girl furiously wrote down the last sentence to her new fanfiction about a girl experiences a "Cinderella Situation". She typed out, "You may think that this will be exactly like the fairy tale story you heard of when you were a kid, but it's going to be totally different." She smiled as she reread the chapter she was about to publish, looking for any errors she might have made.

Maybe she would be able to ask her readers on what should happen in the next chapter, or maybe their input on how she can make her work better. She typed out a small author's note on the bottom of her chapter, "Any ideas on what should happen next or how I can improve myself, guys?" She quickly wrote and then grinned. The girl moved her cursor down to the bottom right of the page where it said "Publish chapter" and clicked it.

The girl glanced at her work one last time before heading out of her room to get a bottle of water from the kitchen. Maybe by the time she got back, a couple of people would have read the new chapter and would comment on it. Hopefully they won't say, "Please Update" or some other annoying stuff similar to that. She needed the criticism, otherwise she would feel like she didn't do well enough on the chapter.

Now let's just wait and hope.


	3. Chapter 3

It took a couple of hours for her story to get some comments on it. She read through what her readers said and she wasn't surprised at their responses. Most would talk about how much they loved the story and that they can't wait for the girl to update again.

It honestly infuriated her. She needed insight on what she needed to improve on, but she got nothing from them. How could her readers say they're such big fans of her works but not offer anything in return? Yeah, their love was a lot for the girl, but after hearing it so many times it didn't faze her as much as it used to. Don't get her wrong, she loved her readers... but she wanted more from them... more help.

After finally reading the last comment, she quickly grabbed her water and chugged it. She was furious and her emotions were getting to her. Maybe her friend could help her calm down? Her body was shaking and her cheeks were burning with anger. Of course she would text him. There's no other person who would help her.

She was about to text him when she noticed the time...

It was getting pretty late and she thought maybe her friend was asleep. But that wouldn't stop her from sending a text to him. He may read it in the morning and immediately reply to her. With that being said, she decided to shoot him a short text asking for help.

"Hey... It's happening again." She typed furiously. She read it over a couple of times before deleting it. Then she typed once more, "Hey! Are you busy? I need to talk to you." She smiled and sent it to her friend.

She quickly set her phone down and sighed. She was letting things get to her again and she couldn't help but feel sorry for her friend. The girl always went to him with her problems and it was more frequently that she expected it to. Her friend knew what to say and when to say it, but she knew nothing about him. All she knew was that his name was Ryan and he loved reading, especially her works because he admired her writing style.

On the other hand, Ryan knew basically everything about her. He knew that she lived alone and had anxiety basically her whole life. He knew other things, but that's a whole different story.

The girl's phone then buzzed, signalling she got a notification. She half expected it to be a comment on her story but the other half had hoped it was Ryan.

It was, in fact, Ryan who had texted her.

"Hey, Y/n. What's up? I just got off from work." He sent her, adding a little smiley face at the end of his message.

"Oh, it's happening again..." She typed into her phone screen then added, "Please, Help." She sent the text to him. Her breaths had become shaky and her heart was stammering. She tried calming down, but it onlt got worse. The voices in her head were judging her and she cried. Then she got a phone call.

"H-hello?" She answered it immediately.

"Hey! What happened?" Ryan stated, his voice as smooth as butter.

"I don't think I should write anymore... I don't get the feedback from them and it makes me feel like my story isn't enough." She managed to croak out, she hated that she had to tell him all her problems. It felt so bothersome.

"Don't get bothered by them, love. You might want their opinions, but they don't as much as yours." He spoke, making her heart beat even faster than it did a second ago. "I love your stories, they're genuine and from the heart."

She smiled at his accusation, "I guess you're right..." she gazed of toward her window. "Ryan..?" The girl called out to him.

"What is it, Y/n?" He asked.

"Can you tell me more about yourself? Please?" She readjusted her position and got out of her spot. Y/n wasn't the one to sit still while on the phone, but that's normal.

"Um..." Ryan said until his side of the call went silent.

"Please...?" She breathed out, feeling her chest constrict due to her friend not telling her anything about his life.

"Well... I'm sure I'm a lot older than you." He sighed, "and I live in Illinois." He added.

"How old are you?" She questioned, finally happy that her friend is opening up to her.

"I'm 27..."( **He's not, but it's for the sake of the story** )

"You're not much older than me, you know." She giggled and paused, "Tell me more."

"Well, I will. Not now, but I will." He chuckled and let out a sigh as he finished.

"When is that, Ryan?" She frowned a bit.

"When I come and see you, Y/n." Ryan muttered, "I'll come see you next month."


	4. Chapter 4

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p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="be6a6bd94f19ee2a7d75150c3093cd7f"The knocking increasingly got louder which, in turn, distracted me from my call with my dear friend. "Hold on, Ryan, someone's at the door." I walked towards it, "I'll call you back." /p  
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p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="504977f7f0f769e147639357b63fec68""Are you Y/n L/n?" The one on the right asked, his name tag said Catlin while the other one said Haug./p  
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p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="ab8df151887bfab4cdc730487c1d900a"Why did she have to die... now of all times..? "How'd the crash happen..." I barely managed to squeak out as tears threaten to spill out of my eyes more than they already are./p  
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p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 0px 0px 24px; font-size: 18px; font-family: 'Source Sans Pro', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 24px; padding: 0px; color: #555555;" data-p-id="7528da90a242bb5a72561a581c180970""Thank you..." I cried and held the paper, "It was nice meeting you too..." I shut the door on them two and grabbed my phone, instantly calling Ryan and going going to my room to plop on my bed. Tears were streaming from my eyes and suicidal thoughts began to surface. As seconds passed, Ryan never answered which made me extremely worried. I wasn't gone for that long, where could he have gone?/p  
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End file.
